Learning To Love Yourself

We've all heard that timeless saying that, 'If you don't love yourself, then nobody else will', but just how close to the truth is this statement.

We've all had that friend that doesn't really think they're anything special when in actual fact, they're pretty damn amazing... I mean they have the perfect eyes, smile, skin etc. and yet still, they constantly obsess over the flaws they have. All these so called 'flaws' they have and it's not attractive. In fact after a while it can become quite annoying.

I have a friend who is absolutely beautiful and yet still she always seems to put herself down, no matter how good she looks there's always something wrong. This type of self-hate is in fact very common amongst us girls because the media, and in essence society encourages us to attach our self-worth and appreciation to thing such as; how popular you are, how many likes on instagram you received, the amount of designer clothes you own and so many other trivial things. Whilst there is nothing wrong in being 'popular', if your self worth is based on that alone then clearly there is something wrong.

Loving yourself is so important when it comes to life, being comfortable in your own skin and accepting your flaws is essential to eternal happiness. I mean how do you expect someone to accept your flaws when you can't embrace the yourself? You hate your stretch marks, but someone is supposed to love them? You feel like that gap in-between your teeth is nasty, but one day somebody is going to love it? ...If you can't see the beauty in yourself then nobody else will. In a recent survey conducted by Psychology Today they found that the majority of women, look up to strong, confident women who appear to be fearless, such as their Mothers or other female family members. Confidence has nothing to do with the way you look per say but more to do with the energy that you radiate. Knowing that you are perfect because of you and not what you wear or how much money you have is what brings inner confidence. If every material thing you have is stripped away and we're left in a World that is blind, what kind of a woman would you be? Hopefully a beautiful one, because we are all perfectly created and deserve to feel that way.

It's not easy learning to love yourself when you feel like you're not worth it, and sometimes it really takes a lot of time to begin to see the beauty in yourself but I've listed a few tips here that will help you be on your way to a happier and more emotionally balanced you.

1. Discover yourself 
Support is obviously a crucial part to human growth but sometimes we need to be alone to truly find out who we are. Go for a walk and give yourself time to think about your life. What are your goals and aspirations, what inspires you? What do you want to get out of life

2. Excercise often! 
Get up and work out! Part of loving yourself is taking care of yourself and if you're not giving your heart that constant work it needs to stay healthy, in the long run this could affect your health. I find that the best time to work out for me is early in the morning as it gives an excellent start to the day but everybody is different, do what's best for you! :)

3. Learn to let go of the past
You're hardly going to get anywhere if you let thoughts of the past linger in your head. The mind is so powerful and if you want to truly love yourself, control it. Your ex-boyfriend called you ugly and so now that defines your whole life? Girllll, get outta here! You're beautiful and you know it, leave those nasty thoughts where they belong!

4. Don't let negativity rule
Anytime you feel a negative thought coming on, replace it with two positive ones. For example; 'I failed my maths test, I'm so stupid'.. could be replaced with 'I'm a kind person who always takes time out to care for others' and 'I'm a talented singer' etc. Loving yourself is an active process, and even the most confident of women need constant boosts to pick themselves up.

5. Get a diary
Sometimes having a place where you can place all your thoughts and feeling can be really empowering and help you to wash the sins of the previous day so you can embrace the new one. My diary helps me to asses the day and put past events into perspective, it feels nice to write down my views on things and not have to filter it. When you look back at old accounts it's sometimes nice to see how far you've come.

6. Forgive yourself
In the past you may have done some bad things but you need to let all that guilt go and start working on becoming a better person. Self-hate stemmed from guilt is often one of the hardest things to get over, constantly remind yourself it's in the past and you're not that person anymore. You've learnt from your mistakes.

7. Be yourself!
You are absolutely perfect! Laugh, cry, sing, jump, cartwheel and hop to your hearts content because it's what YOU want to do. Be comfortable in who you are and let your personality shine through :)

8. Be kind to others 
When you're kind to others, the warmth of your personality shines through and you also feel good to. Compliment your friends when they look good, give to charity, help an old lady with her shopping. These small acts of kindness bring a sense of true humanity to us and make us feel good about ourselves.

9. Say NO
If you don't want to do something, then don't. If you're friend wants to go out and you don't then you don't have to, you shouldn't be coerced into doing things you don't want to. Where's the joy in that?!

10. Stop trying to be perfect
Nobody was born perfect and nobody will die perfect. We all make mistakes and have our flaws, accept this and move on. Who cares if you can't dance like Beyonce or your hair isn't bouncy and curly like Kelly Brook's. Embrace yourself so that you can begin to truly embrace life and be happy.

Thanks for reading and remember that you are so much more beautiful that you could ever imagine.

Peace and love to you all
- .xo